Date Night

Relationship professionals and specifically those with marriage expertise highly recommend that spouses set aside time for one another. I think they are right. "Getaways", perhaps for an anniversary, are a good example. However, it's not a good idea to wait 4-5 years in between childless adventures as Kel and I do. Instead, experts suggest weekly "Date Nights", regularly scheduled time in which couples usually end up talking about their children even though they're not supposed to.

Now, there need not be anything fancy about these Date Nights. Tickets to a show followed by a nice dinner at a restaurant requiring reservations is not included in our weekly budget. Typically, Kel and I find ourselves on Friday nights going to Menards. If we haven't received a panicked phone call from one of our children, we might include a stroll afterwards through Borders Bookstore. They serve some great coffee with fluffy whip cream and a chocolate stick that gets gooey and melty at the bottom of the cup... a nice bonus after finishing the joe. If the weather is pleasant, we might visit a beautifully landscaped city park that has gardens and water features and is not designed around teeter-totters. That would be considered a really romantic Date Night, and we don't even need music to dance under La Luna. Let it be known, though, that we do have some standards. No longer allowed on ANY Date Night: a stop at Walmart. Going there just ruins everyone's mood.

On a rare occasion, we might actually plan something in advance and meet some dear friends for dinner. But, usually our adventures are last minute events in which we realize Kel needs a fastener or drill bit or a large piece of window glass. We assess the number of children in the house, determine if one constitutes babysitter status, and bolt out the door before the hardware store closes. It's hard to arrange a night out with another couple when we live like this, but we have some very nice friends who also need hardware.

Date Nights could be more romantic, but that's not the point. Getting out means getting a different perspective, even though it's easier to stay home, save money, and fall asleep watching TLC on separate TVs. And we need that change of perspective. Yes, we might spend too much time talking about the kids, but after the initial gripe, or rant, or expression of angst, we eventually conclude the night recollecting some cute remark or darling behavior. In between, we hold hands and find us. We end up fortifying the united front, critically essential for what we need to accomplish with those people at home. And, we can fix that broken window too. It's all good.